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"I Want An Allowance"

 

INT. LIVING ROOM

Older man sits in recliner reading newspaper.

 

Child

Dad, I want an allowance.

 

Dad

(Lowers newspaper)

....My baby's all grown up.

 

Child

I'm serious.

 

Dad

Don't I put food on the table and clothes on your back?

 

Child

Food on the table doesn't pay the bills. I need money for stuff.

 

Dad

What stuff?

 

Child

Pokemon cards, pogs, videogames, smoothies, anime, and going to the movies.

 

Dad

...Sounds like a lotta useless junk.

 

Child

Dad! Come on! I made the honor roll. I do all the chores in this place and I mind my P's & Q's.

 

Dad

Ha! You don't mind your P's & Q's! Do you even know what P'S & Q's stands for?

 

Child

I want a divorce.

 

Dad

See!? You don't know what it stands for.

 

 

Child

            (Pouting in silence)

 

Dad

Ok. How about this?- I'll give you ten dollars a wee-

 

Child

            (Interrupting)

Ten dollars!? Dad, do you want me to just sell drugs? That's what happens when parents deprive

their kids of basic sustenance. Delinquency!

 

Dad

Wow. Your insolence is pretty impressive.

 

Child

I learn from the best. Fifteen dollars a week, plus a 50-dollar bonus three times a year for

major purchases and gift giving. In return, I promise to send you to a B-list nursing home when

the time comes to get rid of you.

 

Dad

I want an A-list nursing home.

 

Child

Don't push it.

 

Dad

A-list or I walk.

 

Child

...Fine.

 

They shake hands, sealing the deal.

 

Child

Love ya, pop.

 

Dad

Get outta my office...

 

Child

            (Turns to walk away)